Avalanche Love.

let love never leave you, bind it around your neck.

you must know life to see decay.

I wish I had a better reason why I haven’t been updating my blog, but I don’t. I think writing always forced to me to organize my thoughts, so avoiding this type box means I’ve been avoiding my brain. Deep right? My lack of blogging is a reflection of a lack of mental organization, hmm here comes the categorizing phase. 

I was in Holland until May 12th. I came home to Bonnie and my mom at the airport in Houston. From then, I spent a grand total of 11 days in College Station of a possible 41. My younger sister graduated from high school (there’s a picture of her graduation brunch with our cousins below), and I attended while being in a walking cast do to my bunion surgery that occurred within a week of being home. The surgery was painful and I regretted getting it at first. (eventually my Aunt and Uncle in Pflugerville removed my stitches for me 14 days after and I concluded I was healed and walked barefoot for 7 days… not a good idea). My foot is fine, and after 6 weeks of recovery it’s normal sized and I’ve started to dance on it, but it’s SORE. I also attended my first recital in College Station that I wasn’t completely submerged in. That was weird/hard/good/sad/awkward,but good?/awesome/relaxing all at the same time? I was also on Codeine during the recital so the amount of emotions I felt during the recital may be in part, due to the fact I was probably, most likely, hopefully, or definitely drugged to the point of hallucination. All in all, my feelings at the recital were of the mind set “closing one door in order to go through another”. Deep, yet again.

In special news Angie Burke, my very special friend, had her third baby while I was home. Her name is Maddelynn Grace Burke and Bonnie and I went to the hospital the day she arrived. It’s weird, now that I’m 20 I actually KNOW people getting married and having babies instead of just being drug around by my mom to random people’s weddings. (no offense mother) But seriously! These people are my friends, and they’re living life… it’s not a world of high school tests and after school activities any more. My world is about weddings, babies and life changing decisions. It’s grown up stuff now. 

While I was home, I took several trips. I went to stay with my Aunt Donna and Uncle Chris in Austin. They would probably say I was bored the whole time, truth is, it was my favorite part of being home. We watched episode(sssss) of Lie To Me on netflix and ate popcorn and milk duds for dinner. It was awesome. I also got to have really special conversations with them about how their lives were changed drastically while they were married, and God preserved their marriage through it all. Talking to my Uncle Chris about how he’s practically bed ridden due to his back pain, but still has hope, was really awesome too. My Aunt Donna is my number one hero and getting 8 days to just hang out with her was a sweet time. Where they live is special to me, and after feeling like I didn’t belong anywhere because of my “nomad-ness” it was the perfect place to go. I also made them promise to not move until I get married… so that’s a guaranteed 10 years of them staying in that special place ;) Not long after my trip to ATX, I went to ATL. I went to go visit my childhood friend Shelby Sweat who moved to Georgia when I was in 4th grade. Her family and my family go way back. We went to CSK (my private school) together and we did Indian Princesses together as kids. Randomly, we’ve been in touch this past year so I decided to go out there and visit for the weekend! On the way home from Atlanta I stayed a night in Kingwood with my best friends. Petie, Morgan, Sarah and I had 24 hours together for the first time in I don’t know how long. I got real emotional when I realized how long we’ve been friends and what we’ve all gone through together. After weeks of being home and feeling like I had an inadequate amount of friends stateside, they proved me wrong. When I got home, it was back on the road again for Father’s Day. The “House” family (mom’s side) made plans to go to Granbury, TX for Father’s Day weekend. My Great-Grandfather, Grandfather, and Father were all there. In all we had 4 generations represented and spent the weekend boating, jet-skiing, and going to church. It was the perfect end to my time at home… I left for South Africa 2 days after this gathering.

Zuid Afrika. 

Ohhh where to begin! My American pal Jodi Barrett and I flew from College Station to Durban together. We traveled for over 36 hours and one flight was 11 hours. We flew our international flights on South African Air, and from what I hear, it’s impressive that we didn’t go insane. Our dutch friends flew on Emirates which is notorious for their on-flight massages and spas. Great. Johnny and Jasper picked us up Wednesday night and drove us to the Good New Center (GNC). From previous blogs regarding Bottle Brush and last year’s ventures, the Johns used to be the pastors at GNC but have since relocated to Colorado where they have formed a friendship with my grandparents. (small world, I know). The girls are staying on the GNC property in a house called “The Icebox”. It was dubbed this name due to the frigid nights and the fact that it’s architecture resembles that of, you guessed it, an ice box. “We” make up a team of 7. There’s some people here that I worked with in the KK office in Holland, some from KK year-round teams, and some from America (aka Jodi and I). The seven of us live life with Pastor Dennis’ sister, Mary and her daughter Jasmine. They live full time in the GNC house and Mary is in charge of Bottle Brush feedings. Simone John and her dad, Pastor Dennis are in town for Gateway. Simone’s been rocking my world with her Indian cooking. The past week has been pretty simple, we have been working hard in the office organizing the Gateway camp for this year. Eventually, 10 more dutchies will fly in to help out and complete our team. In between sending emails and making programs, we’ve explored Durban a little bit. All and all, it’s the calm before the storm.

Jodi and I weren’t best friends before this trip, but in the last 10 days she’s grown to be a sister. An experience like this forces a lot of “fast forwarding” on life. Our friendship is just one example. Cultures are colliding left and right. We have American, Indonesian, Dutch, South African and Indian cultures all in the same place… divided into 11 persons. That’s a lot of, well, I don’t know what it’s of. But it’s a lot of something. Being with Bethany and Tamara in Holland for 4 months taught me one thing (of many things) ADAPT. I’ll be the first one to say I needed help when I got to Holland, but I was basically “fast forwarded” into being “Dutch” in order to cater to my students and co-workers. It seems easy, but it’s not. So many people ask “What’s so different?” or “What’s so hard about that?” Until you’ve LIVED LIFE with another culture, you will never understand. Going on vacation for a week or two in the Bahamas or taking Spanish for 4 years in public school doesn’t mean you know a thing about how to live with someone who comes from a different place than you. I never thought I’d be in this place, but watching Jodi adapt and sometimes struggle has made me realize how much these opportunities have forced me to grow. I’m happy to be on the other side of “culture shock” so I can help Jodi as much as I can. She’s fit into our semi dysfunctional family flawlessly though. They think she’s “something else”. Her personality came out within hours due to the fact she saw our shower consisted of a bucket. Yes, a bucket. They’ve accepted her just like all the other Americans, which I’m sure for them has been a “culture shock” as well. Needless to say, we are both learning life lessons again and again and again and again, in many different languages.

I’m aware this entry is ridiculously long. But as cliche-ishly usual, I saved the best for last. I convinced Johnny to let Jodi and I sneak off to Bottlebrush yesterday afternoon. Yes, the place I’ve continuously blogged about for the past year. I finally got to go back, after almost a year. Every week, three times a week, GNC feeds 800+ kids in the Bottlebrush slum. Jodi and I got to go to the feeding and pass out the packages ourselves. We arrived and watched the GNC feeding distributor preach in Zulu to a huge group of kids (ages 2-8). He told me “this is the main group, and whatever is left we give to them” by “them” he meant the kids that were older than 8 or showed up late for the feeding. There were at least 200 kids outside the gate. There’s never enough.Right then I thought back to the $8,000 we raised in February, it seemed insignificant. The need is too big, the cost is too high, the corruption is too far gone.

That night Jodi and I had a long talk with Auntie Mary. We talked about buying GNC property for an orphanage, a medical center, a home for Mary, and place for teams to stay. I called my grandparents to tell them I was serious about investing in this for the rest of my life. Pastor Dennis came home and we jokingly brought up how Jodi and I were going to buy the 2 million dollar property for GNC and build all these things on the land. He non-jokingly replied saying that’s what the vision has been for years. People have prophesied this over Bottlebrush, that eventually, there would be a place to help these children… full time. Most of the kids in the slum don’t even have parents, they live with friends because there parents either died of AIDS or left, and never came back. A year from now I want to bring a team of Americans, and have money raised for a GNC property. 5 years from now I want to bring my whole family back here. 10 years from now I want to be adopting my future family member from here. This is it, forever.

Today I called my mom to semi-vent to her about some of my frustrations. In the midst of it I brought up the fact that I’ve realized that the things that were so important to me now, weren’t even on my radar a year ago. These kids aren’t the only kids living like this. A year ago I would’ve bragged about how my family owned 2 houses, had 5 cars, has iPhones and have 7 flat screens including 1 outside and so and so on. It’s just all crap. All the vacations I complained about going on for all those years, I should’ve been complaining that we weren’t adopting a child or paying for an orphanage to be built. That’s what I want for my future family. I want to invest in life and love all the days of my life. I now know that in order for me to put my brain to good use, God had to kick me in the butt and send me to a place of “uncomfortable” in order to make His expectations for my life, my expectations as well. Cheers.

back to the start.

Durban, South Africa.

Technically I was in Durban last July, not June… but for symbolism’s sake it’s been a theoretical year since my life turned upside down. I’m pretty sure my life was infested with people who brought nothing good into it, and I was consumed with a lost cause. I wish the person I am now could’ve come to me then and shaken me really hard and asked “what are you doing with your life?”. I probably would’ve replied with the typical “I’m at Blinn working my way to A&M so i can be a teacher because I have no clue what else to do…” That’s rewarding for some people, but now that I’ve had a taste of this life…. that’s far from satisfying. My soul longs for more and my dreams have grown into things my old self wouldn’t recognize. That’s what is rewarding to me now.. noticing change, noticing fault and striving for more.

Before the benefit concert in February, I spent three months planning it and doing all the necessities to make it successful. It exceeded my expectations. Now, being back in Durban where this dream was technically born from… is a bit of an eye opener. During the benefit, it was about dance, people, and money. We danced to bring people who brought money. $8,000 to be exact. Now what “this is all about” isn’t about materialistic things, it’s about love. Earning that money was hard and a lot of work and afterwards I knew I accomplished something great. Since being here for less than 24 hours, it’s already hit me that… this money is going to provide for this city. I think the stress of the benefit, and the fact that I left for Holland afterwards for three months, belittled the achievement. Durban is the birthplace of the benefit concert, and being here reminds me that we’re giving it all back. All the effort put into that night, has been multiplied and will now be passed to the township called Bottlebrush. Whoa.

 Here’s to South Africa… where I was abruptly reminded what matters in life, and what clearly does not. No more pettiness, no more lies, and no more false happiness. Sometimes being home and listening to people’s drama makes me want to scream my way back here. I wish I could tell my old self how sleeping on the floor in the cold for 2 weeks is the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself. I wish I would’ve known the benefits reaped from teaching a kids how to coffee grind or do the wave. Love is a language and caring is the dictionary where we find the meaning of our words.

I’m happy to be here with Jodi, my newly found friend from high school. I’ve explained this before… but God is bringing me new friends from the oddest places. But it’s all an adventure. These 6 weeks are going to be my last international trip for a while, and I’ll be really sad when it all ends… but the benefits continue to exceed my expectations. 

Life Via Song

Shot In The Dark:::Augustana

I had it all and then i went and let it slip away I’m working overtime, I’m gonna make it anyway. Sometimes you win, Sometimes you lose Sometimes you never get it back

Rising up slowly, we’re getting higher I’ve been living with a hole in my heart Weighing down on me, but I’m a fighter Darlin’ I’ve still got a shot in the dark.


Ghost:::Kid Cudi

See, things do come around And make sense eventually Things do come around But some things trouble me

The people I met and the places I been Are all what make me the man I so proudly am But I wanna know one thing When did I become a ghost?

I’m mostly confused about the world I live in You think that I’m lonely, well, I probably am One thing that still gets me When did I become a ghost?


Where I live isn’t “home”, where I go isn’t “home” and where I’m going isn’t “home”. I decided as of last week I live in Limbo Land. I go visit my true blue friends in Kingwood and it’s the happiest time in a long time, but I’m a visitor. I’m the “old friend that moved away”. My friends in Kingwood will always be number one. But that’s not my home, as much as it felt that way. Then I come home, meaning my parents home, after weeks of traveling (ATX, ATL, DTX, HTX)… and I go to dinner with friends from High School. We’re all in completely different places. No one person is experiencing the same thing. And yet, this town is home to them. They’ve been born and raised here. I moved here and made it into everything I wanted, only to have that all change.

Last night I walked into a house to say goodbye to some friends and half the room was burning holes in my head via eyeballs. I went home super upset because of these people, why? Because in my eyes I currently don’t have the steady group of friends I wish I had. I have friends here and there. Randoms. My “group of friends” consists of people 8 Dutchies living in Holland and 4 friends from middle school that only live in the same town for 2 months out of the year.

Consistency is non existent in my life. Maybe Dallas will be my “home” but I’m not sure. Johnny from KK once told me that “home is where you’re loved” so I hold onto that statement with hope. Cheers.

Pursuit of Happiness.

I get to go home in 7 days. Yes, I have a countdown. Truth is, I cannot wait to go home… I already started packing. Since I’ve been here it kind of sunk in that I don’t have that much time left in College Station. I’ve been obsessively planning trips, lunch dates, and weekends for the last month because I want to make the most of my time. The fact that as soon as i get home, I have to prepare to leave again… finally hit me. And on top of that when I come back the second time, I leave… yet again. I think I was kind of blinded by the excitement of it all. But I’m learning to live in the moment now. Not worrying about the past or the future, and only being concerned about the present is my current goal. This blog is about journey, and more specifically it’s about the pursuit of being satisfied with the life I lead.

“It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Decleration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?”

I remember posting that quote via facebook a little over a year ago. My cousin responded back saying “it’s not hard to be happy conn…” I proceeded to text him with some choice words about how he doesn’t know anything. At that time, happiness seemed like a prize I was working towards or a gift no one would give me. I can’t even describe it honestly. From the outside, everyone probably thought that I overreacted to the things I went through. But everything had a ripple effect, one thing brought up another. Some things nobody knows about, and it’ll probably stay that way. Sometimes I still fall back into that hole of emptiness. Even though I’m off galavanting the world and living a dream, it’s still a fight. It’s still hard not to hate, or not to think that everything sucks now. I just remember that I still have so much life left to live… there’s so much more to discover. Sometimes I think my worst enemy is myself. My own terrors, thoughts and memories are the things that make me feel that I’m in a “two steps forward, four steps backward” phase. Everyday is a new day.

You see I’m trapped in my mind

and I’m going trippy

Oh I don’t think I’ll ever go

you see the walls are so high

that I couldn’t climb them

so I don’t know which way to roll

but I’m stuck in rewind

oh I’m looking forward

I wish I new what went wrong

-cudi

netherlands livin.

countdowns.

28 days until I fly back to America.

67 days until I fly to South Africa.

128 days until Beth’s wedding.

140 days until I move to Dallas.

In total, I will be at home for 61 days out of the next 138.

Dang.

I’m home for part 2 weeks in May, 2 weeks in June, and 2 weeks in August..

Basically, that’s my Summer.

I’m already planning for when I’m home next.

I will have approximately 39 days to do the following things:

  • girl’s weekend with all my best friends from CS & Houston
  • 3 recital dress rehearsals
  • foot surgery which leaves me recovering for 3 weeks
  • dentist, chiropractor, hair cut & other necessary visits
  • donate mounds of clothing to Goodwill
  • 2 baby recitals
  • 1 BIG recital!!
  • angie has a C-section (yes, this is in my iphone calendar)
  • celebrate my bff’s birthdays (why are all my friends summer babies?)
  • see my sister GRADUATE from high school
  • attend family events revolving around Katy’s graduation (pumped!)
  • celebrate my baby sister turning 14!!
  • trip to Austin to hang with my Aunts :)
  • teach a dance workshop (while foot is in a boot…?)
  • scalp Adele tickets for her ATX or DTX performances
  • reorganize my room
  • buy new Supra’s
  • prepare for the Dutchies coming in August
  • buy a dress for Beth’s wedding
  • get a tan
  • go boating/wakeboarding/tubing with my family :)
  • visit, choose, and apply for school next fall
  • celebrate Father’s Day with 4 generations in Granbury, TX
  • be poolside with my iphone and favorite puppy
  • buy a nikon camcorder to properly record my time in Bottlebrush
  • trip to Dallas to scout out my future home/school/dance etc.
  • prepare my heart for South Africa
  • BREATHE.

So much to do, so little time. 

I’m ecstatic that my schedule is this booked for May/June.

Things that I like.

The Art of Forgiving.

 

hmm you guessed it. this entry is going to be about the F word. F-O-R-G-I-V-E-N-E-S-S. The last few weeks have been crazy, hard, bad, but still good in an odd way. According to my birthday blog, I have some people that I resent… or vice versa. In the last two weeks I was shown in a really awesome way that I had to forgive some people, including myself. Yeah, I know I talk about redemption a lot and how my story is SoOoOo awesome because I have this pit that I crawled out of thanks to Jesus, Africa, new friends, and old family. I can honestly say that I thought these resentments were a part of my story and my past, not my present. In other words, I was really mad when I noticed that some things still had some “loose ends”. When I say “really mad” I mean it, I ignored this issue for weeks which resulted in some rough times. Still working on it. Since I came face to face with this really scary word, forgiveness, I realized I had a lot of “un” in front of that word. Resulting in the word/issue/problem/monster/… UNFORGIVENESS. Technically, that’s not a word. But for the sake of this blog, I hereby make it one. So, here’s my bloggy blog update about my current journey through the unhealed parts of my heart, mind and soul. Warning, I don’t have a map…………………………………. yet.  It all kind of began with Corrie ten Boom. If you don’t know who she is, you should be highly confused as to why no one “made” you read this book in the 6th grade like me. I read this book by choice, but it’s on school’s reader list across the world. Corrie ten Boom and her family hid jews during the Holocaust and much more. The photo above is the actual hiding place, and her book “The Hiding Place” is famous everywhere. The Ten Boom home is located in Haarlem, Holland and has been turned into a museum, which I visited with Alisa and Debbie a few weekends ago. Corrie has since passed and is buried in California, but her legacy lives on in her many bestselling books.
Like I said, I went to the museum a few weekends ago. It was on Alisa and I’s “things to do while in Holland” list and we finally had a free weekend. We entered the house with 27 British kids that were on a field trip, an equally as large group of Americans, and a handful of locals. Our tour guide was an elderly woman who said she was a “friend of the family”. We entered into the parlor to supposedly hear about Corrie’s life and have some of her most famous stories retold. This quirky old woman was more interested in finishing Corrie’s work of being a “tramp for the Lord” and spent most of her time preaching. She did just as Corrie would have done, share the good news and tell all of us to get our lives together because Jesus was coming back. It was pretty blunt and in your face evangelism. This 60+ year old woman had “turn or burn” written all over her in an odd and sweet way. After she shared stories of Corrie going to jail and how the hiding place came about, she started talking about forgiveness and Corrie’s unlikely encounter with it.She went on to tell us that one time after Corrie was done speaking at a conference, a former concentration camp guard approached her. He had gone to hear her speak and remembered her from the Holocaust, he told her this and tried to shake her hand. He asked for forgiveness, and she gave it to him. The tour guide said that Corrie believed in forgiving others just as Christ forgave us… which I think most people have heard but this story made that even more real to me. The woman went on typical “preach” mode and shared some things about forgivness that made my stomach churn. 

If you have unforgiveness in your heart, it haunts you. It comes in your dreams or when you least expect it. If you have unforgiveness in your heart, you know it and you need to forgive them. 

Gulp. As soon as I heard all of this I realized I had so much hate and bitterness towards a lot of people. How could Corrie shake hands with someone who raped, killed and murdered?… I could barely stand in the same room with some of the people who “hurt” me. That’s when I realized I still had some “loose ends” that needed tying. Just because I realized it, doesn’t mean I was happy. Part of me was angry for still having to deal with this, I thought it was all gravy. The other part of me was embarrassed. Why does this still effect me… why do these things come back and scream “oh hey, remember all that pain? yep. it’s still here. and you need to deal”. I left, I forgot, I followed this new path full of dreams and positivity. What could possibly go wrong? Maybe the fact that even though I’m in Holland living this awesome life, I still have a part of my old one that I was maybe/kinda/sorta/ running from. So now to process…

I confided all of this in Bethany a week later, after I wrestled with the fact that any of this actually bothered me. She reminded me that all of this was in fact, normal. The truth is, I put a lot of things on pause in my life… and this forgiving others/forgiving myself to-do list wasn’t going anywhere. She gave me some ideas that Bonnie and Angie had given before, (write a letter and burn it seems to be a popular choice). Symbolism is good, I’m a visual person. But even writing all the things I wanted to say to these people seemed too hard. Maybe not hard, but it would make me vulnerable which is something I’m learning not to hate. For two weeks I attempted to write things, mainly just bible verses that illustrated how I felt about it all. Then we had a youth weekend…
At the youth weekend the four of us were asked to perform dances before each service for a youth group retreat. It was a good weekend and it marked the first time we got to perform as a group. We taught the girls in the youth group some dances and had time to fellowship with them. We made them bracelets with a colored bead on them that represented something they were going through, something holding them back, or something they are free of. Bethany had the idea to do it with us. Alisa, Tamara, Bethany, Naomi and I all took turns sharing what our biggest fears were and we all got bracelets. Mine has a green bead that represents “new life and growth” which was given to me after I shared about all the bitterness I had. Then we had a KK generations conference…
At the generations conference we were, well… we were busy. It was a lot of work. We decorated the entire location and set up for 80+ people coming from Holland and Belgium. The office team did a great job and the weekend turned out great. We danced before every service and I taught workshop on Saturday. On Sunday I had breakfast duty at 630am, yeah you read right… 6:30…in the morning. That was an adventure :) At the final service on Sunday I had a really great talk with Johnny (our fearless KKI leader). I told him about the unforgiveness issue, and he knew exactly what the deal was. He described a situation similar to mine that he had gone through. Basically he looked at me and said you need to contact these people. Errr. No way. Bethany and Patrick mentioned this to me a couple months ago and I shot it down immediately. But after hearing what Johnny had to say, I knew I should try. Once you cut the ties and say “hey I’m sorry for this…” you can begin to look at the situation and think “yeah, I did what I could”. Even though I had said “sorry’s” a lot of times, it wasn’t with pure intentions. Now I know I just want peace, just want to be done. I never realized that sometimes asking for forgiveness allows you to forgive them at the same time. Thus began my email writing…

I messaged Petie to get me some emails that I didn’t have and her response wasn’t surprising. “Are you sure?” haha I love how most of my friends turn into these really protective and concerned momma’s when it comes to certain people.I wrote the emails, short and sweet… to the point. I was totally okay with the fact that I probably wouldn’t get a response. But I did. Two different people, two different responses. It is what it is, and what it is… is over. For the thousandth time. I think no amount of letters to burn could amount to the basic idea of actually apologizing. For me, it’s about honesty and it’s about progress and this is exactly that. 


Another thing Johnny mentioned to me which I think I’ll remember forever… “a warrior trembles at injustice”. dang. That makes sense to me on so many levels. I know I’m a fighter, the way I am and the way I dance is a testament to that. I’m learning to hate the injustice done and not the people that do it. Along with the fact that forgiving others helps you forgive yourself. Cheers.

this weeks latest: forgiving others while forgiving myself.

update to follow :)

this weeks latest: forgiving others while forgiving myself.

update to follow :)

thus far.

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” — C.S. Lewis

5 weeks down. 7 to go. I’ve experienced some cold days here in Holland, my Texas blood was literally frozen. I’m ready for Spring, and the tulips! I’m definitely changing from hanging with hipster Europeans on the reg :) Yesterday my bike wasn’t accessible so I had to walk from my dorm to the YWAM base, an hour walk. Yep, I do things like that here. I’m sure if my parents would’ve made me walk that far to school or to work, it would’ve been the end of the world. But like I said, things are changing. I danced, skipped and sang the whole way there and enjoyed the brisk day. My life consists of enjoying little things like that now.

Bethany arrived, I’m so excited she’s back in Holland. It’s so cool to talk to her about how she’s handling her future. In August she’s moving here “forever” after she marries her Dutch fiance. We have a team of 4 now. Three Americans and Tamara. The Dream Team ;) Classes are great, I’m enjoying them more each week. I’m currently teaching on a theme called “Carrying the Fire”. The main verse we’re focusing on this semester is Hebrews 12:28-29. Doing hip hop to Kim Walker and “All Consuming Fire” is nothing short of a challenge. Now that we’re all here, we get to start performing around the country! I’m SO ready to perform. The weeks ahead will be filled of rehearsals and choreography, I cannot wait. <3

This past weekend was King’s Kids weekend! Beth and I are on a team together and went to Stadskanaal for outreach. Alisa (my American roommate) and Tamara are on the other KK team and got to go to Germany! I really enjoyed getting to dance with Bethany again, she helped me teach the team :) Teaching was so refreshing. Big group, positive energy, and room to breathe… nothing could’ve made me happier. After I taught the 30+ kids I was so grateful, it definitely gave me the boost of energy I needed. Teaching a big group like that reminded me of being home :) The dance I taught had this intense part at the beginning that I didn’t have time to teach or cut out of the music, Naomi (our team’s program leader and my dear friend) asked me to just do a solo during that part. AHH. SoOoOo unprepared each time I performed it, but it was so much fun to get to groove in the middle of a city in Europe.

                                                         “is this my life?”

If you haven’t noticed, I cut my hair. Gave myself bangs a few weeks ago because I was bored. Change is good. And I got some new shoes for dancin’ :) For my birthday, my parents bought me tickets to see the lovely Taylor Swift live in Brussels, Belgium. Drove 2 hours, waited 3 hours, watched the show, and drove home again with Tamara :) Twas a magical night. 

Now for a weekend full of cheese, skype dates, dinner with new friends, and dance. 

” Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity ” 1 Timothy 4:12